This is going to be a hard post. I suppose that makes sense since the subject matter is so emotional. Still, I feel it’s important to share this, so here I go.
My husband’s mother recently passed away. Rather than go into all the details, I’ll simply say that the past few weeks have been difficult and full of highs and lows. It’s felt strange trying to get back into a normal routine, and I’ve just been overwhelmed with the feeling that there are so many things I won’t get to experience now that she’s gone. So many milestones where she won’t be there.
That is the feeling that I put into this piece. The idea that suddenly I’ve crossed a threshold where every big, and small, moment will be missing something is exactly what I had in mind as I created this. Because of that, I’ve titled it “The Ones Left Behind”. I don’t think I even need to explain all the symbolism. This is one piece where it’s pretty obvious.
Mixed Media Art and Grief Expression
I know it probably looks like I made the two sides unequal accidentally, but it was a deliberate choice to make the black area cover more of the canvas. It’s funny- sometimes I look at this and find it aesthetically pleasing, and sometimes I don’t. This piece was not only created by grief, but it’s like it needs to be viewed through that lens, as well, or it will just look off balance and strange.
They say that art and grief go hand in hand. That creating helps you process feelings and ideas that you might not be able to otherwise. Well, I can now say that that is a true statement. It is not always pleasant, though. There were times while I was working, and especially once I was finished, when I actually hated the piece and wished I had never started it. But, I’m glad I did. I’m glad I’ve been able to express my feelings in this way. I’m glad I could focus on this one aspect of my grief for right now, to accept it and move on to the other emotions and steps in the process.
Let me share a little bit about how I created this piece. I began by working on one side only, taping off the other side to make sure it was protected so the colors would remain separate. Then when the first side was finished and completely dry, I taped off and covered the finished side. Most of my paper pieces are embedded in texture paste, though some are adhered with gel medium. I splattered a lot of ink onto the surface using a small bristle brush. Of course, I had to spritz the canvas with water occasionally to feather the ink and make it look even more messy.
It’s a pretty simple piece that didn’t take very long, once I was finished rolling all the little paper pieces.
Thanks for letting me share my art and grief with you. It’s been really important for me this time around, so thank you!
